Mrs Jaypher found a wafer

Which she stuck upon a note;

This she took and gave the cook.

Then she went and bought a boat,

Which she paddled down the stream,

Shouting, ‘Ice produces cream,

Beer when churned produces butter!

Henceforth all the words I utter

Distant ages thus shall note —

‘From the Jaypher Wisdom-Boat.”

Mrs Jaypher said, ‘It’s safer

If you’ve lemons in your head;

First to eat, a pound of meat,

And then to go at once to bed.

Eating meat is half the battle,

Till you hear the Lemons rattle!

If you don’t, you’ll always moan,

In a Lemoncolly tone;

For there’s nothing half so dread —

Ful, as Lemons in your head.’