He thought he saw an Elephant,

That practised on a fife:

He looked again, and found it was

A letter from his wife.

“At length I realise”, he said,

The bitterness of Life!”

He thought he saw a Buffalo

Upon the chimney-piece:

He looked again, and found it was

His Sister’s Husband’s Niece.

“Unless you leave this house”, he said,

’I’ll send for the Police!’

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake

That questioned him in Greek:

He looked again, and found it was

The Middle of Next Week.

“The one thing I regret”, he said,

“Is that it cannot speak!”

He thought he saw a Banker’s Clerk

Descending from the bus:

He looked again, and found it was

A Hippopotamus.

“If this should stay to dine”, he said,

“There won’t be much for us!”

He thought he saw a Kangaroo

That worked a coffee-mill:

He looked again, and found it was

A Vegetable-Pill.

“Were I to swallow this”, he said,

“I should be very ill!”

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four

That stood beside his bed:

He looked again, and found it was

A Bear without a Head.

“Poor thing”, he said, “poor silly thing!

It’s waiting to be fed!”

He thought he saw an Albatross

That fluttered round the lamp:

He looked again, and found it was

A Penny-Postage Stamp.

“You’d best be getting home”, he said:

’The nights are very damp!’

He thought he saw a Garden-Door

That opened with a key:

He looked again, and found it was

A Double Rule of Three:

“And all its mystery”, he said,

“Is clear as day to me!”

He thought he saw a Argument

That proved he was the Pope:

He looked again, and found it was

A Bar of Mottled Soap.

“A fact so dread”, he faintly said,

“Extinguishes all hope!”